In the House of God Forever

This is a reflection I wrote today as I sat in church for a bit. It's really connected to one of my favorite Jon Foreman songs lately and Psalm 23.

I'm a seashell by an ocean as I sit in this large church, the pews vast and empty behind me. Here I am in the House of God. Here is Jesus on the cross. Here is Jesus resurrected--my Lord, Savior, Father. Here is my beloved who weeped and died for me. Here is my everything. And I am so small. And yet I'm protected, I'm shepherded, I'm loved. I'm at peace like a child safe in a mother's embrace. This place--as big as it may be--is also very intimate. The distance between my Father and I is shortest here. The distractions are few and my soul can rest.

Here God pours his grace into me without interruption, strengthening me so I may go out and be Jesus to other people. So I can be a light in this world. This cold world with it's video games and guns and inequality and hate. Here I can retreat with the one who knows me the best for as long as I need to. Long enough to quiet all that I am so I can hear what he has to say, enough to get out all my whines and tears and "what-if?"s out so that I can hear him whisper: "I love you. No matter what, faint not. For good reason, there is joy in your heart. Do not let the evil one and his lies come at you. I am with you, even in the valley of death and suffering."

Here the pain seems far away and I've emptied myself enough to make room in my heart for truth, beauty, love, joy, goodness, purity, grace and courage. Here, the King of the Universe holds my heart. And here I know, sitting in the pew, that God sees me, even as the sinner I am, as beautiful, precious, beloved. Though I may be just a number in this world, though I may take up only one kneeler in this church, he holds me close and his love for me is strong, unique, infinite, as if I were the only daughter he ever created. And this is home--the place where I belong.

In the House of God forever.